Thursday, 5 March 2009

Switch Bitch

Here we bloody go. The bloody internet's playing up again. Sometimes it's bloody dropping out after ten bloody minutes or less, sometimes it can be up for nearly a bloody hour, before bloody dropping out in the middle of something bloody important.
There's no bloody telling.

As regular bloody readers will bloody well know, and be bloody bored of bloody hearing, the bloody culprit is bloody BT. I'm bloody sorry to be bloody posting on this again, but I need to get it out of my bloody system.

BT's bloody wires are bloody old, and bloody soldered every ten bloody yards. Their bloody rural exchanges are bloody Edwardian and the bloody switches are all bloody dirty.

So now I bloody well have to go through the whole bloody process of reporting the bloody fault every bloody day until someone gets the bloody arse enough to go to the bloody exchange to rattle the bloody connections until the ADSL goes out bloody properly. Until the next bloody time.

Alternatively the bloody fault could bloody well be any-bloody-where on the bloody lamentable string of bloody wires from my house to the bloody exchange. So every bloody half baked bloody joint needs to be bloody tested to see if it is bloody OK. Will this be bloody done? No it bloody won't.

Do I bloody well feel like attaching a bloody grappling hook to the bloody wires and pulling the whole bloody lot down, before bloody ram-raiding the bloody exchange, just to make bloody BT replace the whole bloody circus set-up with new bloody kit?

You bet your sweet ass I do.


LF Barfe said...

In a way, ADSL is a minor miracle. To achieve what it does on Victorian-era copper wires is astonishing. When it works, that is. Sorry to hear about your ongoing bad luck. I'm with O2, and the worst I've had to endure is my speed going down in the evenings to a tenth of what I'd been getting before the world and his wife all joined O2. During the daytime and overnight, I still get good, fast broadband, so I just save the intensive stuff for when the bastards are at work or asleep.

BPP said...

My bloody internet spazzes up all the bloody time too. So much so that if I ever met Richard bloody Branson, I'd punch his bloody head out of his bloody arsehole. The arsehole.