Weather forecast: weatheronline.co.uk

Thursday, 26 February 2009

The Prince of Darkness


I get so depressed now whenever I see Robert Peston's face. Because I know it's always going to be bad news, life-sucking news, news to make one feel powerless.

Now, I know it's not his fault, it's his job to report on business and financial news and let's face it, that news sector has been short of a few laughs lately.

But even so, short of the undertaker turning up at the front door with a coffin in the middle of Dancing on Ice and inviting you to step right in, how much lower could it get? Well, Robert Peston takes you there. You'll go low. Lower than ever before. You might not get back up, you'll be so low.

Factual it might be. Helpful...? Not really.

For those familiar with the Bram Stoker novel, that mood of dank, stalled, white-sky, energy sapping stillness, later so brilliantly inhabited by Bela Lugosi when the story was filmed, is precisely the mood Count Peston invokes whenever he tells me of the latest financial catastrophe - on what seems a relentless, inescapable, nightly basis.

Have you read his blog? Don't.

And don't look into his eyes, either.

He can't help it.

Sunday, 22 February 2009

++LATEST++END+PREDICTED+FOR+FRIDAY++


Well? When has the BBC forecast ever been wrong.

Thursday, 19 February 2009

Standing Firm (for now)


I may also give up blogging for Lent (hurrah! I hear you cheer); and E-bay as well (boo! the massed sellers protest).

I waste enough time on line as it is (when the m-f internet's working) and need to keep off these new drugs. I gather that being a refusenik is an unusual stance now and considered to be, appropriately, 'socially' unacceptable. What do you think?

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Feeling Numanoid

Been chatting with lil about Gary Numan, on an earlier post. So for no particular reason other than to get all 1980 doomy on a gloomy Tuesday* 29 years later, here's one of my favourites ladies and gemmun'.

I like a long building intro and tinkling keyboards so this fits the bill from the start, then rocks along like a good 'un, before finishing with a spooky outro. Nice.



He's lasted surprisingly well, hasn't he, considering the stick he got at the time.

* and Wednesday

Monday, 16 February 2009

Seasick


Watching this interview on the BBC with Jose Mourinho, the scrolling advert board behind him made me feel quite queasy. This development is even more distracting that the constantly changing advert screens at the side of the pitch used at every major game.

What's next then do you think, 'active slogan' football shirts? The ball playing an product jingle when it's kicked? Tubular plasma screen goalposts?

Is there to be no end to the indignities forced upon the viewer by advertisers and clubs?

I'm feeling quite Mondayish today.

Saturday, 14 February 2009

File under 'Lucky'


The story here is proof that the old adage 'better late than never' is sometimes indisputably true.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Are 'Friends' Electric?


And now, not live from the Midlands, an extended power cut! Really Ambassador, you spoil us.

All I want now is for the internet to pack up again and my joy will be compl

Monday, 9 February 2009

Yes, we have no bananas


Had any post lately? I bloody haven't, nothing since last Wednesday. So what's going on with the Royal Mail, have they been told not to go out in the Snow?

And what's with the panic buying and therefore hoarding of basic foods like bread and milk? Empty shelves, selfish shoppers and the rapid breakdown of the infrastructure lead inevitably to the conclusion that Great Britain is finish..[contd p.94] Copyright popular press 2009 (that's enough Snow stories - Ed)

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Arrh, Snow in the Good Olde Dayes



Marvel at the sense of purpose of the 'Authorities'!

Gasp at the emphasis on common sense rather than H & S over-regulation!!

(Enjoy in High Quality, viewers)

Monday, 2 February 2009

Newsflash!


Incredibly, a man has attended work during the current continent-paralysing Significant Snow Event!
In defiance of the Authorities, Mr Pest cleared up to 5 inches of Snow off the car, got in, drove there and drove back using all types of roads and some common sense - 'nothing much happened'. He says "he expects to do the same tomorrow".

In other sensational news, a Child attends school, and a Woman also goes to work. Incredibly they even called in at the shops on their way home, to the amazement of shopkeepers resigned to bankruptcy and closure.
After reaching their house they then spent almost an hour bravely throwing the hellish white substance at each other, and forming it into a crude human shape in order to summon the Snow Demon!
As a rudimentary precautionary measure, loose Snow on their clothing and footwear was brushed off before entering their home.
Government Scientists advise that although no lasting toxic damage is anticipated, the practice is 'not recommended'.

Police, however, are advising everyone to stay indoors until "early July at the earliest", in order to give time for the poisonous cloud to dissipate.

"Fack me, they don't call this the Nuclear Winter for nothing, sanshine", Plod chortled in a BBC Daytime interview earlier today, before he found out that he was reading from a leaflet issued in the 1980s. He then wandered off screen to talk to a group of roaming bus and train drivers.

Elsewhere, a predicted Giant Snow Demon fails to show up to throw Great Britain on to the Moon.